Airplane Annoyances

Every time I fly, I come up with a whole list of things people do that are annoying and inconsiderate. So let me share my inner grouch with you.

1. Putting roller suitcases in the overhead bin sideways. Seriously, I just saw a perfectly capable man do this about 10 seconds ago.

Listen, suitcases go vertically, wheels first. Why? Because they fit better and it leaves more room for other people’s luggage. Don’t be inconsiderate. We all have to sit in this cramped tin can together for a few hours.

And along with that:

2.  When not very smart people do this, why don’t the flight attendants fix it? I see them looking at the luggage, and often the attendants are standing in the aisle while people board, but not doing much. Dear flight attendant, just fix it.

3. People who put hats or jackets in the overhead bin. Those are for luggage. I once saw two guys nearly get into a fight because one accused the other of crushing his hat with his suitcase.

4. People who put their “personal item” (purse, briefcase, random shopping bag) in the overhead bin instead of under the seat. Just selfish. It takes up valuable suitcase space that someone else now has to go find elsewhere.

Apparently I have a lot of issues with overhead bin usage, don’t I?

5. People who stand in the aisle accommodating themselves for a long time while others wait behind them. You are delaying boarding, sir.

6. People with a strong smell: smokers, body odor, incense, curry, excessive perfume/cologne. Look, I have to sit next to you and smell you for the next several hours. Don’t make it worse than it already is.

7. Personal space infringers: above and below the arm rest is an invisible plane. Don’t put your leg, foot or arm through that line and definitely don’t touch me.

8. Speaking of not touching me, when standing in line, don’t brush up against me. It makes me think I’m getting mugged. No one is going to rush in and take your spot in line if there are a few inches of space between us. The same goes for brushing against my back, legs or arms with yourself or your luggage.

9. People who stand in the middle or on the left side of a moving walkway. Remember, it’s stand on the right, walk on the left. And “walk” doesn’t mean a slow shuffle.

10. Stopping in the middle of a walkway. Raised on a strict philosophy of “airport mode,” if you stop, I’m likely to run you over, and so will the 7 people behind me.

11. People who get visibly annoyed and rude about crying babies. Yes, it’s a little annoying, but trust me, the parents would love for that baby to stop crying, too. The kid can’t help it.

12. Grouchy/rude flight attendants. I know you may have had a hard day, but your attitude is going to affect everyone on the flight.

Thanks to the Delta airlines attendant who kept us up to date on World Cup scores during my flight from Bogota. His cheerful announcements kept the mood light. I really remember the attendants who make flights fun.

13. Demanding passengers. The attendants are there for your safety, not as your personal maid.

14. Passengers who get upset when a PA announcement interrupts their movie. Really?

15. Flight attendants who bark at you to sit down, while standing at the back during transatlantic flights. They, of all people, should know about swollen ankles, poor circulation and cramps.

16. People who grab on to the back of a seat to raise and lower themselves in and out of the seat. Do you not realize that the back you are grabbing is attached to where I’m sitting? Even worse is when they do that and wrench my hair in the process.

I think it’s about time for me to end this after too much whining. But please, indulge me in the comments. What drives you nuts while traveling by air?

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2 thoughts on “Airplane Annoyances

  1. How about Mr. “I can’t distinguish between an airplane and a bar.” What? You aren’t supposed to be intoxicated on a plane? Who wrote that rule?

    Or (courtesy of my last flight) the lady who insists on telling you about all of the “fornication” she wants to engage in while in Vegas. Because, you know, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

  2. Good list. The purse/briefcase thing is most annoying to me as well because then the owner will need to get up and open it 20 times before landing.

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